Top 5 Words from the World of Wrestling

Every sport has it’s own special lingo: a controlled vocabulary that precisely expresses specific things to the in-crowd, and often means next-to-nothing to casual observers. And with the meat of the wrestling season upon us, we figured it was a good time to share our Top Five wrestling words.

1 – CRADLE: A move that some wrestlers use to rock their opponents to sleep. If you’re in one, chances are the person holding you ain’t singing a lullaby. Oh, and you’re probably gonna lose.

2 – CROSS FACE: Not the nickname of a kid with an oddly religious birthmark on his mug. A move whereby one wrestler presses his forearm hard across the other wrestlers’ face. This often results in bloody, and sometimes broken, noses. One of our personal favorites.

3 – WHIZZER: Not to be confused with Wizard (it’s not Lord of the Rings, people) or the Whizzinator (this is a family magazine). A defensive move wrestlers use to try to block opponents’ shots. Often accompanied by the word “HARD!” from the coaching corner, and followed by lots of circling and scrambling.

4 – NEUTRAL: The standing position in which both wrestlers start every freestyle match. Wrestlers are allowed to choose this position when they have the option in the second and third periods. Also: The way many sports fans feel about wrestling, mostly because they don’t know enough and just don’t get it. Silly sports fans.

5 – BARBECUE: You know, what wrestlers can’t eat in the preseason. Or the postseason. Or pretty much any season. Definitely not during wrestling season. And we probably shouldn’t put it in here because it’ll make them drool. We only tease because we care, guys and gals. Now wipe your chins.

“”Bill Kolb